You’ll hear a lot about going out of touch after a breakup if you’ve done some research online. The truth is, no contact can be a great way to actually save your relationship from further chaos — and ultimately get your guy back, if you choose to.
Going NC, or non-contact, usually consists of a few variations.
You just hang up the phone and email when it comes to your ex and refuse to speak or respond to them.
You limit contact with them to something like “hello” and “how are you”, but it goes no further than that and doesn’t say anything about your relationship.
Number 2 is usually better as it leaves the door open for further contact with your ex. However, it can lead to problems if you don’t avoid breaking up as a topic of conversation with him.
However, no contact can also be highly beneficial for you and your ex. It won’t push you away. Instead, if there really is hope for your relationship, it will make you think about your decision.
Don’t worry about whether or not your ex will get over you – he won’t. In fact, you should AVOID this kind of thinking at all costs. In reality, your ex will never get over you if he really cares about you. If he doesn’t, you should move on anyway.
No contact really allows you to move on and heal – and that’s what you need to do if you’re trying to win your ex back.
When you have that period of not talking to your ex for a while, you have a chance to let the emotional wounds go. The reason for depression after a breakup is that you keep thinking about your ex for a while; simply force yourself not to.
It’s harder, though, to force yourself not to think about something than to be distracted, so look for ways to do that in the first few weeks. Try your favorite games, hobbies – things you find most enjoyable. In the coming weeks, you should be looking for more in-depth activities, things that will really force you to focus.
Now’s your chance to finish that project you’ve been neglecting at work. It’s a chance to catch up on studying or reading – anything you’ve been putting off that you really want to tackle now.
Going out of contact for a while – usually around 30 days – will allow you to get your life back together. So at that point you can examine its current state and whether you really want to get it back.
If you do, you’ll be in a much better frame of mind because you’ll be thinking rationally instead of emotionally. Instead of being in a haze of despair and chaos over the breakup, you’ll see things in a new light.
It will be much easier to make the decisions you need to make: whether you really want him back, and then how you are going to get him back when you’re ready for it.